Me thinks too much...

A new yr, a new sem. But same old person with a head full of rubbish...

First day of sch. It ended with difficult hmk. I really shd be trying harder on my hmk. Sianz... I see notes i wanna slp. Besides... i got other stuff on my mind.


A new yr, a new start. But same old person with same old insecurities...

Am quite comfortable being same old me but am nv really happy with myself. Just like in the past. I really dun have much to be unhappy abt. But i feel like i getting more pestimistic as days, months and yrs go by... I am so not living up to my name.

I want to be the happy girl of my childhood again, who doesnt worry that she is fat or cares whether she looks gd. I wore the icky old fashioned thick rimmed black plastic specs happily and without being concerned that i looked like a nerd.

I want to be the contented dreamy teen who is sastisfied with life as long as she has books to read. I still escape by reading, but somehow, its either not working as well, or as i grow older, i am rooted to firmly in reality and life to be able to escape. I'm going to graduate and start work soon. Must be a responsible adult, handle my own stuff, and not hide in a corner and hopes watever it is goes away.

I want to be the junior college student who was surprised at how lucky she was to have her feelings requitted and roped into leadership position in the club. I want to taste confidence and sastifaction i had gained, when i managed to do my job tho i wasnt sure i was cut out to be in a position to lead, and once again to obtain the determination to do a better job in life than i managed b4.

I want to regain the passion i felt for teaching when i was doing relief, and the determination to grit my teeth to do my best tho its not a bed of roses.


A new yr, a new start. But thru all these yrs i've never really changed...

I am still the same loner character that stand at the edge of things, who never lets herself get too close.


Why do ppl make new yr resolutions anyway? Through all these years, i could nv stick to them. Let me wallow in my new yr laments and live my life as i have before. Caz no matter what u do, no matter how u live, life still passes u by whether u run or walk or stand still... So i shall continue my own half-hearted crawl with its spotaneos sprints, and let life decide whether it wants to place potholes, road bumps or grant me a even and nicely paved path.